Micole always said she would never be a single parent after watching the struggles her mom and sister had gone through. After getting married, she and her then-husband decided to wait to have children. “I was going to stay home and fully support his military career and put everything into him and our marriage.” During one of many deployments, her then-husband suffered two severe brain injuries in a span of two months. He was sent home but struggled finding purpose and feeling like he should still be overseas. Losing some of his memory and impulse control due to the brain injuries put him in a dark place where he began to turn to alcohol to cope. Micole became pregnant during this time but the struggles were too much for him, and she found herself on her own at 8 months pregnant. Having no car, no savings, and no home, Micole moved back to Iowa in 2015 to live with her mom.
“After my daughter was born, I spent some time saying, ‘Poor me, how will I be able to do this all on my own?’ But then, one night as I was feeding her, I just looked at her and said, ‘Alright. It’s just going to be us, and I need to get over it.’” Micole decided to get her real estate license. Although it was difficult in the beginning to rely on state-funded childcare and the support of her family, she was determined that would only be a temporary circumstance. Her real estate business soon took off. “I started from zero with no house or car, and now I have created this life where we can travel and do all the things we want to do. I have been blessed in my circumstances, and now I try to pay it forward.”
Around the same time, she got involved with a Single Moms Group. “This was a game-changer for me! I met this group of like-minded women that were all creating these amazing environments for themselves and their kids. They inspired me and we became a family.” Micole credits the women in her Single Moms Group with helping her get through the challenging times. “I would encourage every single parent to surround yourself with people like this – positive people in similar situations that will help you steer clear of the negative drama and instead ask how can we make the best life possible for our families?”
Today, Micole reflects that, “parenthood really does go by so fast! Being a full-time working single parent is hard and sometimes I get angry that I have to do it all on my own, but I always try to remember that this time I have with her is such a tiny chapter of my overall life and I want to soak it all up and not miss anything.”
Micole, thank you for sharing your journey! We are grateful to know you and your fantastic daughter!
Published July 2021