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Meet Tenelle
Tenelle and her son
Tenelle knows a lot about overcoming obstacles. From an abusive childhood, to difficult marriages, to gaining custody of her cousin and her children, to being a single parent, to continuing her education – Tenelle has faced a lot of challenges.
Early on, Tenelle decided she was going to do things very differently than her parents. “They taught me a lot about what not to do,” she said. By the time she was 17, she was on her own and working her way through college. She was the first person in her family to graduate with a college degree.
She met and married her husband in college and had a daughter. Her marriage struggled and ultimately ended in divorce. It was during this time, Tenelle gained custody of her 15 year old cousin and her cousin’s newborn. Over the next few years, Tenelle often worked two and three jobs while juggling her family and getting her masters degree.
“I try to do whatever is necessary and make it work,” she said. She says her faith in God has made all the difference. “My faith has always been what’s steered me to completing any task.”
Tenelle and her oldest daughter
She admits she’s struggled in relationships and has suffered failed marriages. “I love to be in love, but I haven’t always made the best choices.” She’s worked hard to develop stronger self-esteem and worth and tries to pass that along to her children.
The biggest challenge she faces is the financial burden of being a single parent. “Sometimes I literally don’t know how to do it.” She says, “I know God is my provider, but there are times when I say, ‘God I know you said you would take care of it, but…”
She says she’s worked hard all of her life to provide for her children. “I want to give them not only what they need, but also a few of the things they want.” She has realized that, “sometimes my kids just want me.” She’s learning the balance between her family, a career, continuing education, and the financial strain.
On December 28th, 2017, Tenelle adopted her cousin’s two daughters and their family officially doubled in size. She has three daughters ages 20, 14, and 8, and a 5 year old son.
Her greatest joys are when she comes home from work and, “my kids hug me because they missed me and love me.” She says it also means a lot when people notice how great her kids are. “It feels good to know that you worked really hard and people think you did a good job.”
Finalization of the adoption her daughters
The advice she would give to other single parents is to, “create your own village.” Tenelle thinks it’s essential to have other families in your life who are in a similar situation and understand your situation. She says, “You can cultivate a relationship that offers both families opportunities to get together, to watch each other’s kids and to learn from each other.”
Tenelle continues to work hard. She’s currently working on her second masters degree in marriage, family, and couples counseling with hopes to complete her doctorate degree in psychology not long after that.
Thank you for sharing a part of your encouraging story with us, Tenelle! What an inspiration you are!
Published January 2018
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