“Single parents are not just one thing. There is so much more to the single-parent umbrella than what the media portrays or what most people imagine.” Tisha was raised by her mom but that wasn’t the life she wanted for herself. When she was in her early 30s and finishing her Masters of Education degree, however, she found her life taking a different turn. “My half-sister, who is much younger than me, was going to have a baby. She was not going to be able to care for the child herself so I became the boy’s legal guardian. It was a life I never thought I would have, but I knew I was going to do it anyway. I love him like he is mine and he knows that.”

 The child’s biological mom has intellectual and emotional disabilities. “I grew up learning how to interact with my sister, so there was some overlap in knowing how to help my son, who also has similar intellectual disabilities. I have realized I need patience and to give more grace knowing he needs more time to do things.” Tisha also recognizes the importance of having a routine to keep her son on a schedule and maintain behavior. “When he has a routine, he knows what to expect. If I’m running late, he knows to get himself ready because he knows what is coming.”

Raising her son, along with her background and experience in education, has helped Tisha to become a better advocate for disabled students. Whether it’s through getting the right accommodations for different sports, clubs, or organizations, or advocating for his educational needs during Covid, Tisha has come to realize the "many advances that need to be made. I didn’t realize this at first, but now I do and can be a better advocate for others.”

Tisha can struggle with finding the balance between taking care of her son and herself. “Sometimes I miss the days where I had a social life and I would like to do more. But now I like to find family activities that I know he will enjoy and we can do together. We try to make it a priority to do two different activities a week, like family classes at the Botanical Gardens or Science Center. We also like to travel when we can or go to the theater and watch live shows.”

Even with the challenges that life brings, Tisha has big hopes for their future. “Covid has made life more expensive, and I am hoping to find some economic relief so that we can move to a better home. Buying a house depends on things that are outside of my control right now, though, which can be frustrating. I know my child plans to live the rest of his life with me but I hope to take advantage of a college program for intellectually disabled students when it is time. One that is close by but has a four-year college campus program for him.” Tisha is learning and trying to take steps to make all this a reality. One step she took this past fall was attending one of Single Parent Provision’s Workshops, Winning with Money, and credits it as helping her to think long-term instead of short-term about her financial goals.

Tisha knows if her boy did not come into her life, they would both be leading very different lives. “I am really proud of the person he is. It gives me joy unlike any other that he is a happy-go-lucky, charming, open-minded, accepting kid. And he is so affectionate. If I have had a bad day and get a bit snippy, he is always quick to forgive. It is amazing to have someone love you so well and love you no matter what.”

Tisha would like to remind other single parents what A.A. Milne wrote years ago, “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Thank you, Tisha, for sharing your beautiful journey with us!

Published November 2021