Meet Tonya

“We have our ups and downs, but things tend to just fall into place.”

That statement tells a glimmer of the heart of our friend Tonya. Tonya is a single mom to her 11-year-old son. “I’ve been a single parent pretty much since my son was born,” she says. “His dad and I were together for a couple months after my son was born, but it just didn’t work out. Since then, it’s just been the two of us.”  

She goes on to say, “I doubt most people expect to become a single parent, but my son and I have a great thing going. I have extremely supportive parents who are always there for me when I need them. I couldn’t ask for a better support system.”

Tonya says she has a good relationship now with her son’s father. “We have a good parenting relationship now although it was really rocky at first.” She believes that having a good relationship with the other parent is important. “We all want what’s best for our child and, if the other parent is involved, then we need to work to have a good relationship with them so that our children can have a good relationship with both parents.”

The biggest challenge Tonya faces as a single parent is, “asking for help when I need it.” She says, “It’s hard to let your guard down. Even though I have people who are very willing to help, I find that I want to do it all myself and act like I’m just fine.” She says she’s learning to get past her fear and realize, “I can’t do everything on my own, and it’s okay to ask for help.”

Her greatest joy is to see her son growing up and being successful in school and his extra-curricular activities. She says, “He’s recently come to see how important God is in his life. That is so wonderful to see.”

If she could say one thing to other single parents, she’d say, “You are not alone. There are always others to talk to who are going through similar things.” She urges other single parents to, “reach out when you need help. I’m learning to take my own advice and not let myself get too far down before I reach out.” She says, “Remember, everyone has their own journey, and being a single parent is hard. But, you’re doing a great job!”  

Tonya has been a part of Single Parent Provision from the beginning. “It’s such a wonderful organization with a great mission. It’s a great resource for single parents to have in their lives. I think of all the friendships I’ve developed over the years, people I can talk to and call if I need anything. These are friendships I will probably have forever. It’s so important.”

Thank you Tonya for being a steady beacon of encouragement!

Published January 2019

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