“I learned that you must lean in and sit in that seemingly impossible situation and know God can provide. This was the only thing that got me through because I knew I wasn’t equipped. Now, after going through that time, I know that He’s got me, I’ll be okay, and if I can lean into the hard things, I will come out a better version of myself because of it.”
Nick became a dad while in college. The mother was unable to take care of their daughter and stepped out of their lives when the baby was nine months old. Nick suddenly found himself as a single parent and for the next five years, it was just him and his daughter.
“I totally didn’t expect to find myself in this position. I was only 22 years old, and it got really dark through some of the days. I had no idea how to provide for her.” Nick remembers sitting in his apartment and feeling the desperation of being a single parent with no resources to provide for his daughter. “I remember having a flash of desperation that maybe if I just ended my life others would rally around this beautiful girl, and she would be better off than if I just continued struggling.” Nick remembers praying for God to make the phone ring with a job offer from an interview he had just done. A few minutes later, the phone did ring with an offer to work for the company he has now been with for over two decades. Looking back, Nick sees how God was able to use his time as a single parent to bring him to a point of surrender.
The weight of loneliness was a big challenge for Nick as a single parent. He recognized it could lead to destructive behaviors for him. He would tell single parents, “Don’t sacrifice your values, what you know is right, or your moral compass just so you won’t be lonely anymore. Having a long-term vision versus finding short-term satisfaction would have shortened the curve for me to learn that lesson.”
When Nick’s daughter was five years old, he met his wife, Aubrey, who was also a single parent to a young daughter. They eventually got married and raised their daughters together. Both girls are now grown, and Nick and Aubrey recently welcomed their first grandchild to their family. “We’ve been empty-nesters for about five years but have always had a dream or a burden to get involved with the foster community. We got licensed at the beginning of this year and look forward to seeing where this journey takes us.”
Nick encourages those who are not single parents to become more aware of the single parents in their communities and how they can make themselves available to help. “If you are on the lookout for who is out there, you can take the time to help with their kids, have a conversation, buy them a cup of coffee, or if they do school activities or sports together, offer to take them or bring them home. It doesn’t take a lot to make a big impact on their lives.”
Nick, thank you for the encouragement and inspiration you bring to single parents! We are thankful to have you and Aubrey a part of the Single Parent Provision community!
Published September 2021