“I married my high school sweetheart. We were perfect on the outside. I was in ministry, a licensed minister, but no one had any idea what was happening.” Trecie came to a point in her marriage where she knew it was over. Heart-broken and distraught, she left everything behind and took a job in a new community with her daughter. “I knew moving would mean I had zero support, but I did it. I really had to start over. I was heart-broken but made the decision to put my trust in God, and I knew He would see me through.”
Being a new single parent in a new community with no support was difficult for Trecie and her daughter at first. She knew she needed to protect and provide for her family but felt isolated and alone. Even though externally she let on she was fine and everything was okay, inside she felt like she was crying out for help. Trecie was a multi-tasker and solved problems as part of her external world but feeling unable to solve the problem of being lonely and isolated was difficult. “I knew I needed to go through the healing process, but I didn’t want to go through the pain, I just wanted the joy. I didn’t realize how much hurt and baggage I had and how much time I needed to heal.”
When Trecie found out her daughter was struggling more than she had realized, she intentionally got connected with a Christian counselor and other people through her church and community. “Through that, I met a lot of other single parents and community members with daughters and that became our support system. I found my strength increasing and my faith in God increasing through the toughest times in my walk. I would hear in my spirit God would bring me beauty from ashes, He would dry my tears, there would be restoration. I couldn’t see it because the struggle was real, but I kept hearing it. My prayer increased, my walk increased, my faith increased, I increased. It was powerful.”
Trecie eventually met the man to whom she is now married. “The difficult times are just one phase, but there are many more to come. One day you will look back and be able to see you made it through. Now I am in love and married to an amazing man. We do business, ministry, and missions together. And it really is my beauty from the ashes.”
Trecie encourages other single parents to get connected. “The enemy wants to keep us isolated and make us think we are the only one going through the struggle and the journey. Single parenting is one of the toughest jobs but can also be one of the most rewarding. Everything we do is for our children and to be an example for them. Times may be tough, but He will see you through. If He did it for me, He can do it for you. You can do this!”
Trecie would also like to tell those who are not single parents to be intentional. “I have been there, so I have learned to watch out for single parents and make yourself available. Be supportive, be patient, drop any judgement, and be available. Even if it just a hug, asking what you can do, bringing them dinner, giving them some time away; be intentional, be purposeful, and be meaningful. Mean what you say and do it.”
Thank you, Trecie, for sharing your inspiring journey with us and for your beautiful heart of encouragement and advocacy for single parent families!
Published August 2022